Do you believe in love from the
first sight? I surely do not, but I began believing in love from the second
time I got to see her.
She stood with an air of carefree
confidence that is most noticeable in her peaceful brown eyes. Soft face with
rounded cheekbones, proportionally slim nose, high trimmed brows, soft red
lips, and rounded chin is complimented by her charming smile. Her smile, made
my heart smile. Her presence was that of a princess, and to her I felt like a
servant. If I had the voice to speak, I would have not been able to do so. Just
as she walked towards us, I stood up, and was introduced to her by her mother.
She smiled again, and that’s when I felt something. Like that smile made my
heart open up, and want to welcome her in it for shelter. I fell for her just
as we shook hands, and she began to speak.
I know it’s crazy, right? I mean,
she was always around but I have never noticed her. Did she notice me? Did she
know who I was before the accident had happened? I felt like asking her where
was she all my life, and why we never got to speak. Somehow I felt like she
would respond with “You were always busy seeking attention, but you never knew
who really wanted your attention.” It felt like she liked me too. Yet, she did
not say such thing, and I was just imagining her saying that to me. This girl
had me lost in thoughts that time flew by, and they had to leave. It was times
like this when I wished I had the power to make them stay longer.
The
next day, I got up texted Sam asking what he was up to. He said he was meeting
up with the guys at the park later on, and asked me to tag along to buy some
food and drinks. So I got dressed for the occasion, and headed downstairs when
I bumped into my sister. It was heart breaking to see her with a broken smile
every time she saw me. In a way, it felt like she had all these emotions inside
and would not show them. I hear her at night, when she prays. She prays that I
get my voice back, so we can talk again, like we always did. During her prayer
she would not leave anything unsaid. She prayed for those in need, she prays
for those who died and she prayed for those who have lost someone they loved.
My phone vibrated just then, it was Sam saying he was outside. So I gave Sara a
hug, and pointed at my heart then at her, telling her I love her.
Sam
got me a mini white board as a gift, told me I should use that and stop texting
all the time. I wrote to him telling him that Emma came yesterday, and she has
not left my mind since. He told me that she was going to be there. That’s when
I felt it. Anxiety and sweat, like never before. Why was I nervous? Where is
this coming from? She’s just a girl from my school, who I never really thought
of. Now, she’s got me feeling like I was back in middle school when I went on
my first date.
We
got to the market, and as we were shopping, I heard someone calling my name.
Their voice sounded familiar, but I could not recognize who it was. I turn
around, and to my surprise whom do I see. It was Veronica, out of all the
people in the world. What is she doing here? I have not spoken to her since I
sent her the message asking her if she wanted to go to prom with me. That’s
right, I completely forgot that I asked her to prom. She gave me a hug, and
asked me whether I was going to the park. Sam answered her saying that we were,
and that we are buying some meat and drinks for the guys since it was going to
be a barbeque.
She
then asked if she could get a ride with us. I looked at Sam trying to tell him,
that we could not do that. Emma was going to be there, and it would look bad
for me. In addition, Veronica thought we were dating, holding tight to my arm
like I was her boyfriend. It made me uncomfortable, and only then did I realize
my mistake. I should not have asked her to prom. Was I that desperate? I could
have just gone with Sam and Kim. I did not know what to do.
So
we got to the park, and everyone was there. The guys came to help us unload the
groceries from the car, and Veronica went to her friends to say hi. I did not
see Emma anywhere. “She is amazing isn’t she?” asked Zack. Zack was a good
friend of mine, who attended History class with me senior year. He was also
Veronica’s ex-boyfriend. I still did not know why they had broken up, just two
months before prom. In a way, it made sense why Veronica was acting like that.
Like she was not into serious relationships, and just wanted to have fun. That
is every guys dream though. To have a girl to just fool around with, but I was
not like that. I just asked her to prom because I had too. Zack did not know
about me asking Veronica to prom either. It would break his heart, and I could
not do that to him. Why did I not think of him then? I was being selfish.
I
pulled Sam to the side of the car, and wrote on the white board he gave me what
I felt. He told me that her and Zack broke up because they were going to
different cities for college, and it had to happen eventually. I had to do
something. I had to come up with a plan to get rid of Veronica, help Zack and
make sure he does not find out I asked his ex-girlfriend to prom.
As
we were setting the barbeque, everyone would speak to me like I was dying. Are
you doing okay? Do you need anything? How are you feeling? Then I would look at
them with no response, and they would act awkward and say: “Oh right, you can
not reply.” That’s when I would take out the board and draw a smiley face to
show they how pointless it was to try talking to me.
Emma
wasn’t anywhere to be seen; I guess this was not her scene. I kind of wished
she were there though. Veronica, on the other hand, was trying to be helpful,
by getting me a plate and making me a sandwich. The one thing a guy would love
a girl to do, make a sandwich. Only then did I realize, could she be trying to
make Zack jealous? Is that why he has been looking at us the whole time?
All
of a sudden, he got up and walked towards the parking lot. I’ve come to realize
that what was going on has gotten to him. I got up, and walked towards him.
Thought he should know that I have no interest in Veronica, and that she was
just being a good friend. “I know you asked her to prom,” he said. “I also know
that you do not look at her that way, I am sorry for what happened to you, but
it is hard for me too. Being around the one I care most about, and pretending
like we never were together. I envy you sometimes for being able to be around
her like that. Even if you did not speak, it is just her presence that makes me
happy.”
I
looked at him; I looked straight into his eyes as I shook my head. Took out my
board and wrote: “You need to tell her how you feel, only then will she know.
She could be feeling the same way.” I gave him a brotherly hug, and then shook
his hand. Trying to make him understand, that it is his happiness that I care
for, and he should seek it with her. Just as he walked away, a person appeared
from behind him. It was Emma, but she was not alone. Apparently Emma was late
to the barbeque because her and Nathan were out shopping for prom suits. Yeah,
I know. Emma was going with someone to prom after all. Nathan was one of our
high school’s athletes. He was smart, sportive and came from a rich family, so
I could see why she would say yes to someone like him. I wished I had asked her
first, I was jealous of him. That’s when I felt lonely.
I
felt like a fool being around a bunch of people who were talking, and laughing.
Everyone seemed so happy, everyone but me. Sam and Kim were officially dating.
Zack spoke to Veronica, and finally got to talk. Nathan was trying to impress Emma
with his talk about football. So I guess that just leaves me out of the picture,
with no one to talk to, since I can’t even talk. It was annoying for me, why
couldn’t I be happy? Why couldn’t I just have someone, I get to share moments
like these with?
I
went for a walk around the park, and came across a tree. Decided to just lie by
it, until the day was over. Looking from the bottom of the tree, made me
observe the nest resting on the stems. Birds go through all that work, to
provide shelter for their babies. Would I ever get to provide that for my
family in the future? Would I be able to even speak to my kids? Would anyone
even agree to marry a mute like me? Slowly closing my eyes, I felt someone’s
presence around me. I was so comfortable the way I was, I had no energy to open
my eyes and see who it was.
“Get up sleepy head,” someone
said. I open my eyes, to see Kim. She laughed and asked what I was doing there
alone. “Is everything okay?” she then asked. I have heard that question so many
times, but somehow I managed to tear just as she asked. She comforted me with a
hug, and told me that everything is going to be okay. I wrote to her asking,
“Why do people lie? Why do people say everything is going to be okay, when they
are not even sure themselves?” She answered, “God always looks out for the ones
he loves, and you’re special. You should know that, and never doubt God’s
ability in answering any prayers. Everything happens for a reason, just stay
strong and believe.” It made me smile knowing that I had great people in my
life, such as Kim. She had a point. I was over exaggerating and it was not the
time to give up.
We walked back together to where
the barbeque was, and everyone greeted me and asked where I had disappeared to.
Veronica and Zack told me that they were going to prom together. I was not
upset, that is what I wanted. I was glad they worked things out. I was now
dateless to prom just as I hoped, however, I could not ask Emma to go with me
since she was going with Nathan. I felt like all I needed was my loved ones to
be around me, and I knew Mary was up in heaven looking down on us and smiling.
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